Awkward Moment
Last night I went to see Swan Lake at the local theater, because our friend Alfredo's daughter was one of the ballerinas. After a couple of dances, I thought, Tchaikovsky must have written this work in order to give parents the pleasure of watching their young daughters dance. There were dozens upon dozens of little girls in their green, white, and red tutus, pirouetting around the stage. You could smell the perfume from bouquets of flowers all over the theater. The second act, when many of the first-act ballerinas were off duty, got a little chaotic as the little girls joined their moms in the theater rows, at times standing, running, or leaping down the aisle. Not all of them had learned audience behavior.
Afterwards I met up with Alfredo, who is a meditator, and his wife. His wife and I chatted while he went off for a moment. They have 3 children: a girl, 17, who I had not met, a younger girl, 8 (both in the ballet), and a son, 5. Because Alfredo had a couple of times with Barry and me referred to his older daughter as "my daughter" (rather than "our") I had mistakenly assumed his daughter was from a previous marriage. This was not a logical assumption on my part. Children from previous marriages are often ignored and forgotten about by their fathers.
"Oh no, she's our daughter," his wife said, correcting me. "And there are no others, as far as I know!" she joked. "And you? Do you have children?"
"Yes, I do. My step-daughters."
Polite smile, silence. No further questions like how old are they, where do they live. I didn't volunteer information, though now I wish I had.
Step-children, I've learned, are a dark subject in Mexico. Blended families don't exist here. Fathers do not want to raise a child who is not their own, which is why single mothers have difficulty remarrying. Oh, sometimes life in Mexico makes me sad.
I do occasionally refer to my step-daughters as just "daughters," but I didn't want to gloss here. Alfredo is a lovely guy, I feel very warmly towards him, and I wouldn't want one of them to be visiting and him to find out otherwise. Plus, their mother is alive and very much part of their lives.
Afterwards I met up with Alfredo, who is a meditator, and his wife. His wife and I chatted while he went off for a moment. They have 3 children: a girl, 17, who I had not met, a younger girl, 8 (both in the ballet), and a son, 5. Because Alfredo had a couple of times with Barry and me referred to his older daughter as "my daughter" (rather than "our") I had mistakenly assumed his daughter was from a previous marriage. This was not a logical assumption on my part. Children from previous marriages are often ignored and forgotten about by their fathers.
"Oh no, she's our daughter," his wife said, correcting me. "And there are no others, as far as I know!" she joked. "And you? Do you have children?"
"Yes, I do. My step-daughters."
Polite smile, silence. No further questions like how old are they, where do they live. I didn't volunteer information, though now I wish I had.
Step-children, I've learned, are a dark subject in Mexico. Blended families don't exist here. Fathers do not want to raise a child who is not their own, which is why single mothers have difficulty remarrying. Oh, sometimes life in Mexico makes me sad.
I do occasionally refer to my step-daughters as just "daughters," but I didn't want to gloss here. Alfredo is a lovely guy, I feel very warmly towards him, and I wouldn't want one of them to be visiting and him to find out otherwise. Plus, their mother is alive and very much part of their lives.
posted by Louisa at 4:08 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home