On the Other Hand...
Oh dear. Once again we are leaving Guanajuato and I am filled with ambivalence.
I love hiking and being places, like Guanajuato, where I have both a regular everyday life, and I can start walking in beautiful hilly country right from my front door, no car, no bus, no nothing necessary. It's not like I'm on a special tour or a vacation set up for it-- it's just ordinary life. This is freedom!
While in Guanajuato, I feel less alive thinking about Eureka. On the other hand, I like the area around Eureka. Barry and I can venture out on fun van outings and go cycling on our cool folding bikes. We can go backpacking. The fall season is within spitting distance and I daydream of bicycling and hiking amid glorious fall colors.
And I am not ambivalent about having my new wetsuit and swimming in the bay.
Still, I hate leaving here and wish I had set it up to stay longer. Yes, I could stay longer, but it would cost a bundle to change the airline reservations, and flight costs are so high as it is. If I stayed much longer I'd also have to change several appointments in Eureka which I am reluctant to do. One is with a client who is notoriously hard to schedule with at all. I'm ambivalent about the contract I hope (?) to set up because it would tie me to Eureka on a monthly basis. On the other hand (I have a lot of hands), I always enjoy doing the work. Meanwhile I'm also ambivalent about getting the Mexican work visa I'm applying for because the process is long and tedious and filled with pitfalls and I'm not sure how commited I am anyway.
I'm ambivalent about being ambivalent, at least. Isn't that an oxymoron?
I love hiking and being places, like Guanajuato, where I have both a regular everyday life, and I can start walking in beautiful hilly country right from my front door, no car, no bus, no nothing necessary. It's not like I'm on a special tour or a vacation set up for it-- it's just ordinary life. This is freedom!
While in Guanajuato, I feel less alive thinking about Eureka. On the other hand, I like the area around Eureka. Barry and I can venture out on fun van outings and go cycling on our cool folding bikes. We can go backpacking. The fall season is within spitting distance and I daydream of bicycling and hiking amid glorious fall colors.
And I am not ambivalent about having my new wetsuit and swimming in the bay.
Still, I hate leaving here and wish I had set it up to stay longer. Yes, I could stay longer, but it would cost a bundle to change the airline reservations, and flight costs are so high as it is. If I stayed much longer I'd also have to change several appointments in Eureka which I am reluctant to do. One is with a client who is notoriously hard to schedule with at all. I'm ambivalent about the contract I hope (?) to set up because it would tie me to Eureka on a monthly basis. On the other hand (I have a lot of hands), I always enjoy doing the work. Meanwhile I'm also ambivalent about getting the Mexican work visa I'm applying for because the process is long and tedious and filled with pitfalls and I'm not sure how commited I am anyway.
I'm ambivalent about being ambivalent, at least. Isn't that an oxymoron?
posted by Louisa at 5:49 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home